Inspiration : Dealing With The Bullies In Your Life

Have you ever had to deal with a Bully?  Bullies are everywhere that there are people to be bullied, which includes friendships, families, dating and and marriage.  Bullies have stolen power since grade-school playgrounds existed.

I have witnessed when one spouse is screamed at by their spouse, and have watched the victimized spouse transform instantly from being vibrant and happy to being intimidated,silent and threatened.

All relationships are built on mutual respect, and anything less is something less than a true, vibrant, healthy relationship. When one person corners another, insisting to be heard, it is unlikely that they will truly be heard and it is impossible for them to be respected.  Consider some emotionally abusive  behaviors and attitudes of a Bully:

All Bullies thrive on POWER.  No Bully can exist without someone they have power over.  That someone needs to tolerate the abusive behavior bestowed on them.  Bullies thrive on power and influence.  Where there is a bully, there is always someone being victimized. The victim cowers whenever they are in the presence of the bully.

Bullies are Egotists.  They think more highly of themselves than they should, and they are unaware that their perceptions are distorted.

Bullies are self righteous.  They see themselves as always being “right”.  They believe they are entitled to their attitude.  They are Toxic People.

Bullies have trouble managing their Aggression.  Aggression in this case is defined as using their power to harm another person.  Bullies are disrespectful.  Also owing to their sense of entitlement they will talk to you or act in hurtful ways.  They “talk down” to others, use sarcasm to make their point, and will usually not settle for anything less than to dominate their victim.

They have a profound lack of Empathy and Remorse for others.  They have no idea that they are causing any damage to their victim.  They will walk away believing they did ‘what needed to be done’, or saying what needed to be said.

 

The victims recognize this and don’t expect an apology or change in the bully’s behavior.

What can you do to Stop the Bully from overwhelming you with their power?

Even though Bullies overwhelm us with their power, they don’t surprise us.  We all know who the bullies are in our lives.  Everyone in the family knows who the bully is.  We all know those who think they are better than the rest of us.  And, they are fearless when they tout their power.

 

Since we know their antics ahead of time, we are ale to anticipate how they will behave so that we can become unfrozen in order to determine how we choose to respond to their next outburst.  This knowledge can help you balance the power continuum.

Keep Thinking, because Bullies count on us to freeze emotionally.  That is , they gain their power by overwhelming us emotionally.  If we stay alert, and remain aware, we can plan ahead and determine our response.  By “keep thinking” notice what is happening.  Notice the disrespect the bully uses to get what they want.

Set Limits on the Bully.  Be brave and disagree with the bully.  Take a stand and make it clear that you will listen only if they approach you with respect.

Celebrate your small victories, like when you simply voice a contrary opinion!

 

The more confidence you gain with yourself, the more the bully will shrink in size.  Bullies thrive on being large and in charge.  If you stop allowing them to have this power, and stand up to them, they will discover they can no longer manipulate you.

In adults, bullying is usually disguised as verbal aggression or other types of intolerant behavior.

Bullying should never be accepted.  Nobody has the right to make you feel bad for who you truly are.  There will always be people who try to bring others down by using mean words.  This kind of person will try to bring your ego to the ground.  It is your responsibility not to let this happen.  At first it may seem frightening to fight back with their bullying, toxic behavior, but you will be glad you did. Shame the bully who deserves to be shamed.. Always be aware and beware of people who are trying to make you feel inferior. You don’t deserve it!  You are the architect of your own world.. Why would you let anyone else manage your life? (or try to!)

You are the sum of your choices.  Choose wisely what kind of behaviors towards yourself you’ll tolerate.  Remember that you are in charge of your life.  You are stronger than you think.  Don’t settle for anything else.

Please let us know how you handled being bullied in the comments below!

Remember…..YOU ARE AWESOME!

xoxoxoxo

Sookie

Sign up TO RECEIVE FREE FREE FREE POTPOURRI OF WHATEVER DELIVERED TO YOUR EMAIL FOR FREE FREE FREE!