Don’t Be Friends With People Who Want To Live Your Life!

InspirationWhatever

 

The people who want your life are often people who you think are your friends. Treat-poisonous-people-canbe-friends-and-family

These so called friends are just using you and really, they hate almost everything about you.  They want to live your life because their life sucks!  And, because they are so envious of you, they think of you as their enemy.  Want to be ‘s are devious and dangerous.  Watch out for Want to be’s!People-who-want-to-be-you-hate-you

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These people, psychologically, feel entitled to more than others, and with this false sense of entitlement, they begin to encroach on our personal space.  We all have a stage five clinger friend, Right?  This friend is stuck to you like glue.  No matter what you do, or don’t do. they have to invite themselves to be around you 24-7!  Sometimes, like in my case, these friends become more of a family element.  You must remember ( which I tried often, but with little luck) with people like this, you need to maintain healthy boundaries.  This means, you do not have to be around each other all the time, you do not need to do everything together There are times when a family just needs to spend time alone together.

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Stay away from these manipulative people.  They see you as their pawn, so they can use you and play you.  They never see you as a human being.

They believe  What’s theirs is theirs and What’s yours is THEIRS!  (Remember, they have a warped sense of entitlement!)  They feel entitled to have whatever they want because they believe they are special.Treat-ungrateful-people-losers-have-a-sense-of-entitlementNo method of trying to obtain what they want is off limits – whether it is manipulation, deception or theft!  Personal relationships really don’t matter because they can always fine someone else to mooch off of in the future.  As soon as they are done with you, they will find someone else.  To them you are an object, a robot, and they know there are 7 billion others out there, a limitless supply out there that they can take advantage of. These people are empty inside and have limited emotional development (if any) because someone with any sense of fairness or honesty Wouldn’t Do Those Things.

AVOID THESE PEOPLE THE MINUTE YOU CATCH ON TO THEIR GAME!

Once they realize they are not going to get anything out of you, they’ll go to 1 of 7 billion other people.

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Because you are trying to be a good person.Treat-people-pleasing-is-not-the-real-you  Maybe you feel guilty that you have made a better life for yourself.  Maybe you are taught to always be the good person.
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Maybe you have always tried to be a people pleaser, and suppressed how you really feel, or just kept it to yourself.  You tried to treat these people the way you would want them to treat you if you were in their situation.  You tried to help these people.  You were unaware that in doing so, you were feeding into their game.  That is all it is, a game with them to see how far they can go with you.Treat-people-take-advantage-of-you-when-you-are-nice

And, one day these con artists push their game too far.  You wake up and realize that you have been played, disrespected, taken advantage of and lied to.  Everyone around you has seen it, your family, your friends, your children – everyone tried to tell you to Get Rid of Them!  Now you realize that you need to do exactly that.  And what they did get out of you, well, they are never giving it back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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They are Hopeless – they think the debt is so huge that there is no way they can ever repay it.  So they say to themselves, “I might as well enjoy my life as much as possible.  I will pay as little as I can toward my debts, just enough to avoid a major catastrophe.  This isn’t really my problem, whenever decided to loan me the $ took a risk and I’m a bad risk.  This debt isn’t my fault, it is my wife, the neighbors, the government, the landlords, my friends, the banks”, and the list goes on and on1

They are Guiltless – they think, what is the worst thing that will happen to me if I don’t pay.  If this was a real problem it would affect my life today, and since it isn’t, I’ll ignore it for now.  If my landlord/creditor/friend makes it a real problem, I can usually figure out how to buy more time.

They are Entitled – they think “I deserve to live a better life.  Why should other people have it better than me?  We are supposed to bear each others burdens, right?  So, yeah- I’ve fallen on hard times, but I don’t have to suffer alone.  I’m doing without a lot of stuff since I’ve fallen on hard times, so others can do without stuff too!  It’s obvious that times are tough for me.  If other people really cared about me, they would erase my debts and stop worrying about it!  Why should a little thing like money get between people?  Normally, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer.  Maybe I can do my part to make things just a little more fair for everyone.  So what if my friends won’t talk to me anymore, I never really liked them anyway.  Anyhow-Besides I have plenty of other friends.  If they want to have an attitude about it, then that is their problem.  I am not going to let someone else’s bad attitude get me down.”

This feeling of entitlement allows these people to use others to acquire possessions to which they feel they have a right.  They think “others have these goodies, why not me?”  They see the system as unfair and taking $ is putting that injustice right.

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A moocher, freeloader is programmed to try to find ways around paying.  A good moocher is savvy in getting others to pay.  Saying, they’ll have the money next week is a technique to hold off having to come up with the money.  So, what should we do?

Unlearn the popular belief that helping people is the right thing to do.

In life, not everything is bad, same as not everything is good.  There is good in bad, and there is bad in good.  It is not the worst idea to help people, but it is also not a great idea.
When people do not really care about you, Never, Ever,  Help Them!  They do not deserve your help!

So…Rule #1  – NEVER OFFER ANYTHING FOR FREE

And …Rule #2 – NEVER FORGET RULE #1

People will always try to exploit you if you allow them to.

REMEMBER – THE FIRST PERSON YOU NEED TO HELP IS YOU!  PUT YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE ANYONE ELSE.

Rule # 3 – STOP HELPING PEOPLE WHO DO NOT APPRECIATE YOUR HELP.  At the end of the day, everything can be good or bad, we need to find the balance between the two!  Always think it through carefully before you offer to help someone else.  If you don’t, it can cost you time, money and the relationship.

Remember, an act of kindness can change someone’s life, but it can destroy one too!  If you help the wrong people, you can miss opportunities to help the right people.  Think before you help.  Start to wonder if you are doing too much.  How do you even know where to draw the line?  I started to realize that a lot of things my friends might call “signs of how close you are” look a lot more like “ways they take advantage of me.”  I finally realizedinTreat-you-as-the-bad-person-so-they-do-not-feel-guilty-about-how-they-treated-you how unhealthy things had  become.  I thought, either my friends are shitty, or they are geniuses, people who have managed to convince me that this kind of unequal dynamic is just what friends do, so maybe they don’t see it either.  It became time to rethink how this friendship was functioning.  There were no good boundaries.  They walked into my house like it was theirs any time they wanted.  It really was getting to be a problem.  Also, I began feeling like doing things for them because I wanted to had turned into doing things because I felt obligated to do them. Treat-them-the-way-they-treat-you-and-they-will-change-their-attitudes-about-you

When these so called friends became upset by the subtle shifts that were occurring while I tried to keep a reasonable amount of energy for myself.  I realized that these are not the kind of friends that I need in my life.  I became disenchanted with my “friends” when they routinely disappointed me and my family.

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I could no longer release my expectations, and I refuse to give these friends my permission to continuously treat me thoughtlessly.  The really big favors I have been doing for them for many many years has destroyed our friendship. I understand that none of us is always kind.  Human nature dictates that we all act with one eye on what is in it for me.  That is ok as long as we make an effort to do good for the sake of it.  But always recognize when your favors become obligations, and you realize your friends are not honest, and have been lying to you, stealing from you, and having no qualms about it.  They think they are entitled all out access to your life, but their lives are off limits.  I had to learn my lesson the hard way.  Treat-you-as-the-bad-person-so-they-do-not-feel-guilty-about-how-they-treated-you

 

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It has taken a lot of years to accept that I was conned .  My family and I gave and gave, until we realized that whatever we did for them was never enough.  And they still talked shit on us behind our backs, and tried to sabotage our business. I do not know if any of you have been in such a situation, where you are the giver, and they are the taker, and what is theirs is theirs and what is yours is theirs.  Does someone want to have your life?  What would you do with con artists that make a living out of deceiving people.  When you think someone wants your life, wants to be you to the point they need to wear your clothes, your jewelry, cook in your house, and think they are more than friends,  you need to get rid of them.  A leopard doesn’t change its spots.  Get Rid Of Them!   Let me know in the comments below how your feel about this subject.

You are Awesome!

xoxox

Sookie

 

 

 

 

 

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Sookie and Sylvie reside in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We created our mother and daughter in law partnership because we MUDDLE THROUGH really well together (highly unusual for a mother-dogter relationship), we share many interests and love the same things. read more

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