When People Underestimate Us We Must Establish Healthy Borders

InspirationWhatever

Don’t Underestimate Me!  I Know More Than I Say, I Think More Than I Speak, And I Notice More Than You Realize!

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People may think I am kind, and some may even think that I am stupid! And they think they can walk all over me.

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And sometimes they do, so… there is definitely something about me that leads others to think they can take advantage of me, walk (barge) into my house whenever they feel like it, and totally not respect me, behave nasty or mean and totally disregard me and my feelings.

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So why does this happen to me?  Because I have yet to learn that everyone must learn to set their own boundaries, so that those people who feel that they are entitled to take advantage of you, know that you have limits, know what your limits are,  and realize they are not welcome to cross the barriers you create.

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It is healthy to have a good sense of where your feelings and opinions start and stop, and where the other person’s feeling start and stop!  It is especially important to set boundaries with difficult people, particularly those individuals who are critical, controlling, manipulative, demanding or aggressive.

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It is time to set boundaries when:

You feel taken advantage of

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Your space or your privacy is being interrupted

You feel UNCOMFORTABLE or ANGRY at something someone did

You are being blamed for something you are not responsible for doing

You feel others are pushing ideas, actions, or feelings onto you

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You feel disrespected insulted or hurt

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You want to share how you want and do not want to be treated

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You feel bullied, abused, or someone is being aggressive

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You see someone trying to compete with you

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Set that inevitable ” barrier”between you and these disrespectful, opinionated, agressive, critical, controlling and manipulative individuals.  Limit beyond which you will not go, and beyond which others can not enter.

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And, learn to say no without feeling guilty.  Teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop and what you reinforce.

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Communicate your boundaries to others by:

stating that :

“I have a problem with that”

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“I don’t want to”

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“I’ve decided not to”

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“This is what I need”

“This is hard for me to say, but…”

“I understand your point of view, but…”

“I feel uncomfortable about…”

“I’d rather not”

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“Yes, I do mind”

“I’d prefer not to”

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“It’s important to me”

“I’ll think about it”

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“That’s unacceptable”

“I guess we see it differently”

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Own your reaction- own the way you react to other people.  Take care of YOURSELF!

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You Are Awesome!

xoxo

Sookie

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Sookie and Sylvie reside in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. We created our mother and daughter in law partnership because we MUDDLE THROUGH really well together (highly unusual for a mother-dogter relationship), we share many interests and love the same things. read more

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