UNEXPECTED CHANGE – Why Is It So Difficult For Us To Deal With?

Change is one of the only constant things in all of our lives.

And yet, Change that is out of our control is really difficult for us to deal with.  Change in itself is inevitable, and can be a lot of fun and very exciting.  However unexpected change can throw us entirely off course.

Ten years ago my husband was very ill and he wanted to move closer to his parents.  I always lived in the area we’d live in since we were married, and I was raising my children in that neighborhood.  I had never lived anywhere else.  When my husband insisted we move, I was against it, but because he had been through such a scary health ordeal, I went along with it.  We moved suddenly, and my whole world felt disrupted and I felt that it was spinning out of control. Why?

Human beings are creatures of habit, so when our routine is disrupted, it feels like our world is spinning out of control.

Even though life is all about changes, and those changes define who we become- why can’t we understand it?  Why can’t we anticipate it?  Why can’t we move on?  And how can we learn to accept it?

 

Change is nothing to be afraid of.  It is scary, but we shouldn’t be fearful of it.  What’s scary for us is that it’s uncharted territory, the unknown.  Humans crave comfort, and only change if something is not right or that needs to be fixed.   This is a human misconception.

Having gone through this change, where my world was spinning out of my control, and survived it,  This is what I learned :

Don’t let fear dictate your life.  Initial change is difficult, but the results could turn out to be very rewarding.

Be Comfortable with ambiguity (be comfortable with the unknown, and uncertainty.)

Don’t think of change as a bad thing!  To accept change, you can’t look at it with negativity because it’s not always bad!  REMEMBER THIS!

 

Don’t judge others for making changes.  Don’t negatively judge someone for changing paths.  Many people don’t make changes because they are worried about what others will think of them.  Instead, embrace their decision and encourage them, even if it will bring change to your life.

Realize that you can’t always control things. When change occurs because of something you can’t control, don’t dwell on it, grieve the loss and accept it, and then move on.

 

We need to understand that initially change can feel like a loss when it occurs.  But we must comprehend that we are not fortune tellers and the future could mean a winning situation for what feels like a loss now.

Life constantly moves forward, so the next time a change that you can not control occurs, you need to acknowledge that yes-it is a difficult and upsetting time – but it was necessary to lead you to a better, more positive place- the place where you are today.

I ended up moving three times until I found just the right place that was perfect for me, my children, and my pets. It was difficult and upsetting for me while I was living through it, but it did lead me to where I am today, which turned out to be a better, more positive place, that looking back, had I not gone through with the change, the loss, the moves, then I wouldn’t be where I am supposed to be today !

You Are Awesome!

xoxoxo

Sookie

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