It’s time to change the way we were taught. Why? Because this is the real world, and the rules for winning in the real world are different from the rules that we were taught when we were kids. We were taught that “Giving people the benefit of the doubt” is the right thing to do, and a good thing to do! So do we give the people who betray us, attack us, and exploit us the “benefit of the doubt?” How about the backstabbers, the abusers, the impostors, and don’t forget the takers! Should we also give them “the benefit of the doubt?”
Nooooooooo! You’ve got to protect yourselves from them. Give them the benefit of the doubt? That is Insane!!!!
What you need to do,which we were not taught in LaLa Land, is to gather data and make data based decisions about the people in our lives.
Have you ever had a funny feeling about somebody? You weren’t so sure how you felt about them, so you gave them the benefit of the doubt. Noooooo more! From now on, Listen to your gut reaction. Remember, we do not lie to ourselves about things like this. If you’ve got that uneasy feeling about somebody-listen to it!
Put them on a “watch list”.
Learn the ways they exploit you by watching them. Watch them like you are watching a movie. Watch the person, but don’t become emotionally involved with them. Don’t allow yourself to get upset, or be angry.
You need to become an observer, detach yourself from them, and just watch the movie. You’ll start to see things happening from a different perspective.
This will not only delay your response, it will give you more power on how you respond.
And guard your attention like your life depends on it! Where you focus all of your attention is also where you focus the power of your mind!!! Your mind is also the greatest weapon these people will use against you, so they can control your behavior.
Never, ever give them an emotional reaction (they love when you react with emotions and will manipulate any emotions you have against you!) You need to focus on the positives, your integrity and your strengths. Do not engage with them, because they do not know what to do when your not engaging. Never give them the power to upset you , affect you, or upset your emotional equilibrium!
And then, stop exposing yourself to them!
And forget about giving them a second chance. These types of people don’t improve. And if you think that you are missing that person after you’ve gotten away from them, remember that you are not missing them! Really! You are missing who you thought they were, not who they really are.
I would love it if you would share your thoughts, and/ or the experiences you’ve had with toxic people with me in the comments below, and please let me know if this was helpful for you!
You Are Awesome!
xoxoxo
Sookie
1 Comment. Leave new
Great post Sookie…now if I can remember to use all your valuable advice! Also, love that I could enlarge the inspirations!!!